I’m About to Surpass the Age My Older Brother Was When He Died
I’ll be turning 49 soon. And, along with celebrating my birthday, I’ll also mark my breast cancer anniversary.
Yes, dates matter to me. They’re a reminder of how far I’ve come along and important reminders of how much more I want to do in my life. Usually I look forward to honoring milestones with celebrations and by doing something meaningful. However, things feel a little different to me this year.
This is because my older brother died about two months before he would’ve turned 49.
It’s been about a year and a half since my brother passed. With my birthday just around the corner, I feel strange — like I’m in a bizarre dream — knowing that I have the potential to live longer than he did. After all, he was the oldest child and if I’m lucky enough, I’ll soon take that title.
My brother and I were only 17 months apart. Although we were close in age, we were polar opposites and often clashed because we didn’t understand each other. However, even though we didn’t get along, we did love each other.
Now that he’s gone, I am acutely aware that tomorrow isn’t promised. His passing has taught me that relationships can’t be forced. His death has also made me realize that you have to live for you; regardless of how you’re perceived or judged.
So, in addition to marking the day I was born, my birthday is a reminder to live fully, intentionally, and completely.
And, in about a week, I will officially take the reign as the oldest living sibling in my family. It’ll be an honor to take on this role. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’ll always have an older brother.
